Taking in commentary from others on our art:

Taking in commentary from others on our art:

You likely already know this but art of course can not be "wrong". If you are expressing self, that expression of self can not be wrong. It may appear displeasing or harsh or beautiful or compelling or provoke any variety responsive emotions from others which are based on their interpretations based on their life experiences and tastes etc.

What makes art intriguing is our unique way of expressing. What would be interesting about art if it were all the same; somehow supposedly fulfilling the status quo for others, so they would not feel threatened or challenged by anything? In this somehow “make believe” world where all behaviors and comments would be positive could we really grow or would we be giving up self to attempt to please others in the hopes that we would only receive positive strokes?

I believe when family or friends make comments that insult or somehow infer the work is flawed; it is likely because they fear that if you grow (with your art), you will change and the relationship will shift in some way. Of course, this fear is largely unconscious in most. This is their inner critic trying to maintain the status quo of the relationship. Often, these people are not aware of why they are doing what they are doing and the impact on you.
They may not even allow you time to analyze your own work as they have pre-condemned it for you. We all make judgments based on our experiences and tastes but for someone to actually believe unsolicited negative opinions are ok to express is unconscious behavior; everyone is growing from where they were and where they are in any given moment. They likely are afraid of your growth and happiness. Perhaps they see you being happy for the first time in a long time or happy in a new way than usual and are threatened that your source of happiness doesn’t include them. Perhaps they have not been able to unleash their creative artistic independence as you have or feel you are closing the gap on accomplishments with them, such as an artistic peer, and do not feel good about that.

Again, all of this may be unconscious on their part. They may not consciously understand their reaction or what is going on, but just know the feelings they have and then they express criticism.

The work may indeed need improvement, often times one sees weak areas and comes to know how to improve and build on strengths as we gain insight, skill and confidence through hard work and intelligent contemplation. This process comes from within and is halted by believing negative opinions.

If you ask someone for a real critique, that's different. Ask someone with artistic knowledge, not a family member or friend who may feel threatened. Asking for a critique is different then asking for an emotional response of an “I like it”, “I don’t like it” evaluation. There are healthy ways of discussing art and an art piece that don't belittle or judge the person.

So...when you hear comments; observe and take in the fact that others are reacting and let it go! It’s their opinion, their words, you don’t own them and are not identified by them and can choose to not react.

Perhaps there is something, however, you can gain within from the words they are saying; perhaps not. Let’s take an example. Someone sees your work and says: “It’s so dark!” Your immediate response may be to prove it is not so dark or that you are not depressed or that you are actually happy or that you did it wrong and therefore you are giving out an unintentional negative message in your work which you are sorry for or that you are no good at art or life in general or any number of other self doubting messages you are sending yourself.

Now let’s look at the person who spoke these three words that sent us spiraling: Is the person who made the comment only happy when they see bright colors because their parents told them bright colors are happy and once, when they showed their parents a dark painting; their parents got mad, offended or disturbed? Are they therefore wanting you to only paint bright colors to satisfy their inner critic which they‘ve never really investigated but have “learned responses“ to? Are they in fear that you may have a feeling, sadness etc which may mean something about them or that they won’t know how to deal with? There are all sorts of “agendas” others have, some conscious, some unconscious.

Now; let’s look at the painting and the intent. Did you use dark colors? Were they necessary for the intent of the work? Now, when someone says “It’s so dark”; you may like to respond by saying “YES!” If they are caring or intrigued; they may ask investigative open minded questions to learn more about you!

We are not trying to please anyone but if they happen to be thrilled and pleased...YEAH! Celebrate! If they don’t like it; fine. If they comment negatively; realize they may believe they are “helping” but are more likely than not; speaking from their view of the world. Don't buy into it. Just know it is their view, not yours.

Celebrate your individuality...we are each unique people and have rich inner lives to express! Art is often a statement, often controversial and if we water everything down to be pleasing to all, believe me, they won't like that either so like your own work, take risks and express; quieting the critic's voice in your head; give yourself that and know your art comes from your authentic self! When you create from your authentic self, it may throw critics off, do it anyway, everyone’s journey is unique. Love your art, the journey of creating and yourself for creating it....we are all so fortunate to be able to create!

Are there ways for us to improve; technically, aesthetically and expressively in our work? Let's hope so or we'd be done! Is how our growth manifests, the job of others to decide for us? Impossible, let's not give seemingly negative comments power. Let's give the positive helpful ones some power in the form of incentive and lets stay focused on improvement, truth, centeredness and the knowing of self!

We have no control over others but we have control over how we choose to hear and react. Choose confidence, choose growth, choose exploration of the glorious gifts you were given; you'll find it much more fulfilling than getting bogged down in the meaningless voices!

If Picasso had “obeyed” the many critics who he must have lived amongst, might he have chosen a career of painting bluebonnets?

By Bonny Leibowitz with critical input by Annette Anderson
Bonny Leibowitz
www.bonnyleibowitz.com
Bonnyfineart@aol.com
Annette Anderson
http://www.annetteanderson.com/